Monday, October 19, 2015

Canada's Four National Political Parties Reviewed as if they were Products

Hello Canada!

Today we are going to do something fun. We are going to review 4 of Canada's national political parties as if they were a product review. We are not going to talk about the leader's of those parties, because frankly those leaders are really just spokespeople for their party's political views. So let's get started in alphabetical order.

The Conservative Party

Canadians have been trying the Conservative Party on for size during the last 10 years and they don't quite fit. They come with a lot of baggage including 6 deficits, a $140 billion increase to the Canadian national debt, an unemployment rate that has left 236,200 more Canadians unemployed during the last 10 years, and as of Summer 2015 Canada is now in a recession. They also have a dismal environmental record, and apparently really don't like murdered/missing indigenous women, women having the right to choose, women's shelters, or Muslim women having the right to wear whatever clothing they want to wear. They also don't like Canadians having the right to privacy and apparently all in favour of spying on Canadians - with no oversight as to what they do with that information. On the plus side, if you are a rich Canadian you are probably even richer now because the Conservative Party spent 10 years lowering taxes on the rich.

The Conservative Party was created in 2003 when the Reform/Canadian Alliance Party and the Progressive Conservative Party merged to become a right-wing party with very little progressive values.

We give the Conservative Party 1 star out of 5. Clearly, they just don't fit Canada.

The Green Party

The Green Party of Canada was founded in 1983 and is Canada's smallest national party. They have a sum total of 1 member of parliament, and at their max they have only ever gained 2 seats. The Green Party is essentially the same as the Conservative Party, but with Greener (more environmentally friendly) values. Thus you would think that anyone who normally votes Conservative but also likes the environment would vote for the Green Party, right? Wrong. The party is so universally ignored - despite their resemblance to the old "Progressive Conservative Party" - that they are often left out of debates, completely sidelined / left in the penalty box, tossed aside like a moldy Tim Horton's donut, traded like an old hockey player that nobody wants, whatever Canadian metaphor you want to use. Basically, the Green Party is there to remind Canadians that we should do something about cleaning up the environment, and then we don't actually do it. Some people point to the fact that the party really only has 1 elected member, and that the one member lacks qualities that make for good leadership, but really it isn't about leadership. It is about the fact that most Canadians only pay lip service to the environment and simply don't care. Maybe 20 years from now when climate change has wrecked destruction across Canada, then Canadians will care and vote for the Green Party - but by then maybe the other parties will have changed their attitudes towards climate change and make it a bigger part of their focus.

No review for this particular party because they've never been given a chance to govern.

The Liberal Party

From 1993 to 2006 Canadians tried on the Liberal Party to see how we liked them. We kept them around for almost 14 years so that is a long time. During that 14 years Canada went through an economic boom, entered the war in Afghanistan but decided to stay out of the war in Iraq. In retrospect both of those decisions seemed to solid and wise decisions. 1993 to 2006 was a good time for Canada's middle class as their taxes were lower, the economy was solid, social programs were robust and helped people and the economy, and many more people had jobs back then. In 1995 things were so good that 49% of the people in Quebec tried to leave Canada and 51% said no, we don't want to leave. At that same time the Liberals spent millions of dollars of government money on advertising in an effort to keep Quebec as part of government. That advertising money later became a spot of confusion about what the money was used for exactly, and some people accused the Liberal Party of using some of the money for their own re-election efforts in Quebec. Whether you believe that the Liberal Party used the money correctly, or whether it was part of the so-called "Sponsorship Scandal", nobody really knows because too many unanswered questions were involved. What we do know is that Quebec is still part of Canada and that the Liberals were tossed out in 2006.

We give the Liberal Party 3 stars out of 5 because they did pretty well last time around, but they also did very little to address safe drinking water / murder rates in Native communities, and they need to be more clear about what they are spending things on. Clearly, they need to work harder.

The New Democratic Party

The NDP has never formed a government in Canada. They have only recently (2011 to 2015) been the official opposition. They have no experience running a government, but hey, neither did the Conservatives. The party was founded in 1961 and during the last 55 years have supported various minority governments for better healthcare, more social programs to help reduce poverty in Canada, and environmental protectionism. But we've never tried the NDP as a government, because we really don't know much about them. We do know they are in favour of raising taxes on the rich, more social spending to help the poor, and more laws to protect the environment.

These all sound great on paper (unless you are rich), but it is a bit like trying a strange food that you've never had before. You don't know what it is going to taste like so you are not sure what is going to happen when you finally try it. It might be very good, it might be very bad, or it might have both pros and cons. Clearly it would be good for anyone who is struggling in the economy, but anybody who makes lots of money would probably be very upset that they suddenly have to pay more taxes to help "welfare cases".

However as the NDP are quick to point out, welfare in Canada isn't all that great anyway. It is basically just there to prevent people (often single mothers) from becoming homeless and their kids being taken by the state - which would cost the Canadian government more money in the long run to take care of problem kids, not to mention legal costs, a high suicide rate of crown wards, etc. Ultimately it is cheaper to support welfare than to fill up the crown ward system.

So at this time we are going to withhold judgment on the NDP because they still haven't been given a chance. Maybe someday, but for now we clearly don't know enough to give a proper review.


We have deliberately left the Bloc Québécois out of this review because they are not actually a Canadian political party in any real sense. As a Quebec separatist party their sole purpose is regional, and usually with an effort towards gaining Quebec extra favours - usually in the form of handouts from Ottawa. This makes the rest of the country upset, as Quebec's economy is actually quite strong and they should actually be giving extra money to poorer regions of the country instead of getting handouts. It would be like rich people standing on street corners asking for charity. They don't need it and they should be ashamed to ask for it.

If it was up to us, we would only give money to Quebec (and other provinces) with conditions attached. eg. Start by getting clean drinking water in Native communities. If you don't do that first, why should we give you extra money? It is like dealing with a spoiled teenager who doesn't want to clean their room. Cut off their allowance until they clean up their act.

"Oh you want more money from Ottawa? See those communities who don't even have clean drinking water. Fix those first and then you can have your allowance."

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